Is this the End or Intermission?

Expanded Lovemaking, practiced as an art form, is about getting out of our story, and sticking with the processes we learn, through thick and thin.

Yesterday, we had been flirting, doing nice things for each other, rubbing elbows, blowing kisses, and cuddling. I was generally sending out those “come get me signals” all day.

So, when we finally started our Expanded Orgasm date, within moments I was climbing up a staircase of sensation that carried us both along, like a river effortlessly carries a raft with two happy people aboard. My breathing was full and deep and whole-bodied. I spread the sensation to prevent myself from going over the edge too soon. His expert hands were simultaneously like butter and like rubber bands, melting into me and yet pulling me this way and that, confusing me enough to send my body singing into a sweet surrendered song.

Like a symphony filling Music Hall, several sensational crescendos began building perfectly. That is, until my beloved slowed down, suddenly, his touch eking its way over the next two minutes to a draggy drawl.

Okay, how, what, and why? But, by the time I had stopped to ponder as much, my body had come in for a semi-orgasmic landing. I had “gone over a low edge”: going over an edge, but not a truly satisfying, or completely definitive “finale” kind of edge, be it a star-birth, epiphany, magic-carpet ride, or anything that has a name.

We could have put on our best appearances, ending there, grateful for all that we did experience. Hey, let’s just give it two more minutes, he suggested. I agreed, and we started to play again.

Patiently, he lovingly played with my most delicate flower while I did my best to feel anything. I couldn’t. Not two, but rather, five minutes of no feeling must have gone by before suddenly I felt something felt really, really good! And up we went, and up, up, and away from there.

And that’s the real story here. We took our attention off our frustration, and returned to the art of having presence, feeling, connection, and pleasure. Rather than getting stuck, we retuned to our practice, and our art. Did we make totally new and amazing music together? Yes!

And, we learned something new: Low edges do not always mean the end of a date! They may just be a very promising intermission!

Yours in ever-expanding love,
Dr. Patti Taylor
www.ExpandedLovemaking.com

Copyright 2007 Patricia H. Taylor, PhD. All Rights Reserved.

Falling as I'm Climbing

I was well into my sensual pleasuring date the other day with my beloved. His right hand was placed firmly on my favorite spot on my clit, and his left hand was delicately balanced, with two fingers up to the second knuckle, reaching in and teasing my G-spot. My partner was reaching into me – or was I reaching into him? I felt waves of pleasurable sensation pulsing all the way from my my abdomen to my thighs. I even felt micro-pulses inside my vaginal canal that just about took me over the edge time and time again, but each time, I relaxed to spread the energy. Long ago Mr. Fabulous had learned not to drop me when we reached these places. Still, I could feel myself searching for his next wave of touches.

Delicious waves of sensation alternately crept through me, and then shot through me, delivering doses of pure feeling that just seemed to fill me with just about as much pleasure as I could handle. In those moments, just subtle seconds, my whole being wanting to hold on, even grab a little, and ask for more. Then I would drop back, into relaxation, to savor for a few split seconds more, the energy coursing through my neural networks. This seemed to be going on in cycles.

“Wow”, my beloved said, “You're falling as you're climbing”.

He gave me more sensation within a moment or two, careful not to drop me in the process. In my orgasmic reverie, I considered this comment. How often things make sense “out there”. And how nice, that, finally, in pure pleasure, they don’t have too.

Pleasure thrives in a place of not making perfect sense! I'm reaching as I'm relaxing, and enjoying as I'm letting go.

So here's wishing you a day where at least one thing in it doesn't make total sense just because it's so totally wonderful!

Yours in ever-expanding love,

Dr. Patti Taylor

www.ExpandedLovemaking.com

PS: I have a special request. If you have read my book Expanded Orgasm, and enjoyed it, I would love it if you would consider posting a review for me on www.Amazon.com? (it doesn't have to be long or eloquent, just your own words.) And, it can even be from "a reader" if you wish. Many thanks!

P.S.S. Get ready: Very shortly, I'll be announcing the opening of my new Internet audio podcast show on Expanded Lovemaking! It's going to be really hot and super fun!

Copyright 2007 Patricia H. Taylor, PhD. All Rights Reserved.

The Love Thing

Women have a thing about love. Personally, I have mixed feelings about the word and have tried to avoid defining it. Still, I'm often pressed to do so to eagerly awaiting females, pens in hand. They seem to want to capture love, own it, control it... or maybe, just, understand it, so that they can have more of it.

Well, I did develop a definition for love. It's a working one I use as a "rule of thumb" to test for myself, "is it love"? It's a very "in the moment" kind of love.

Three conditions must be met:
- Do you see the other person's perfection (or find them right just the way they are in this moment) without wanting to change them?
- Are you willing to communicate honestly from a caring - not changing - place? (This would involve some risk-taking).
- Are you willing to open yourself up to vulnerability (again, in this moment)?

By this definition, a lot of women would pass with flying colors at a romantic candle-lit dinner. But women, what would your score be the next time your beloved wants to give you sexual pleasure in the bedroom?

Are you going to tell him what you want, where to touch you, and how it feels? How joyful you are to be with him (if this is true)... how much you want him to notice when the two of you lose connection and you need his encouragement to keep talking and touching... (or whatever it is you are risking to share)?

Guys want love, too. They tend to fall in love (and lust) with the woman that they're giving a lot of sexual loving pleasure to. I've had more candle-lit dinners after great sex than you could ever imagine!

Yours in ever-expanding love,
Dr. Patti Taylor




Copyright 2007 Patricia H. Taylor, PhD. All Rights Reserved.