Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Love Thing

Women have a thing about love. Personally, I have mixed feelings about the word and have tried to avoid defining it. Still, I'm often pressed to do so to eagerly awaiting females, pens in hand. They seem to want to capture love, own it, control it... or maybe, just, understand it, so that they can have more of it.

Well, I did develop a definition for love. It's a working one I use as a "rule of thumb" to test for myself, "is it love"? It's a very "in the moment" kind of love.

Three conditions must be met:
- Do you see the other person's perfection (or find them right just the way they are in this moment) without wanting to change them?
- Are you willing to communicate honestly from a caring - not changing - place? (This would involve some risk-taking).
- Are you willing to open yourself up to vulnerability (again, in this moment)?

By this definition, a lot of women would pass with flying colors at a romantic candle-lit dinner. But women, what would your score be the next time your beloved wants to give you sexual pleasure in the bedroom?

Are you going to tell him what you want, where to touch you, and how it feels? How joyful you are to be with him (if this is true)... how much you want him to notice when the two of you lose connection and you need his encouragement to keep talking and touching... (or whatever it is you are risking to share)?

Guys want love, too. They tend to fall in love (and lust) with the woman that they're giving a lot of sexual loving pleasure to. I've had more candle-lit dinners after great sex than you could ever imagine!

Yours in ever-expanding love,
Dr. Patti Taylor

Copyright 2007 Patricia H. Taylor, PhD. All Rights Reserved.


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